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I was sitting at my desk typing up a report for the evening sports bulletin when I was suddenly drawn towards a bunch of foliage adourning my kitchen window ledge. I don't know why I looked up at that particular time but what I was staring at was a healthy looking bamboo plant. 'Ah, my lucky bamboo plant,' I thought to myself. It was almost as if it was saying to me...'You're doing a fine job looking after me. I hope I can throw some luck your way.' Well, some luck I could certainly do with. Then it struck me how healthy the plant looked. You see, those who know me well will tell you 'I aint got a green thumb.' And they're right! I have been known to kill plastic plants let alone the real thing. So keeping my lucky bamboo looking a million dollars day in and day out was some effort on my part. Maybe there was some hope for me yet..or, maybe this was just luck. 'No Dean,' I'd reassure myself. 'You've done a fine job of raising that plant!' It was almost as if a feeling of parental bliss had suddenly gripped me and you know, right at that moment, I started to have feelings of green thumb grandeur. 'Maybe a couple of pot plants on the balcony; an indoor fern perhaps by the door entrance, or... no, wait a minute!' Then reality struck... 'Who am I kidding. One successful lucky bamboo plant doesn't give me a degree in horticulture. Me, a plant serial killer. No, I'll quit while I'm ahead.' And then a calmness came over me and the realisation that if God wanted me to be a green thumb then I would have been born with a.. well, green thumb! Why are they called lucky bamboo plants anyway? I know they're supposed to bring good fortune in Chinese culture but I'm a westerner. So I did some checking and yes, they have become popular in the west during the last few years. Their hardiness is symbolic of good health and did you know, a three stalk lucky bamboo plant is supposed to bring you those three ingredients of a happy life: wealth, happiness and longevity. At this point, I did a quick summary of my life and yes, I'd say I was at least half way there on all three counts. Did mine have three stalks? I got up and checked and right at that moment I was gripped by a sudden bout of fear. 'Two stalks. That would be right! So what's missing; wealth, happiness or longevity? Hey, doesn't matter. Two's company, three's a crowd!' I do know one thing. I've come to love my lucky bamboo plant. And by the way, just so you know...they are so durable they can practically look after themselves. Which brings me back to my earlier point... a green thumb I definitely aint!
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